there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize