their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
