Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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