She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
