Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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