That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
