I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
