for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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