Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
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