idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
