it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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