So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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