We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
