I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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