Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
