brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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