Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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