someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
