3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
