Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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