I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
