I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
