grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
