I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
