I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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