haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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