Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
