This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Randomize