Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I won the penis lottery.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize