First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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