Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
its not stalking. its research.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just puked most of my soul out..
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
