omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Randomize
