There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
