I'm really into asian looking animals
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You can't special order awesome
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just high enough for therapy.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
