his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
