My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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