My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
