Is it normal to miss your booty call?
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
