My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
