She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
