Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
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