If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
