And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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