i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Enjoy the penises
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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