My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
