i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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