We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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