Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
did you just send me my own nude
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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