Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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