i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
