I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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