i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
