Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
