We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize