i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
and you said cock pushups were impossible
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
