we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
