Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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