She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
