Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
