Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
