Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
