I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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