He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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