Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
