So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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